I didn't understand exactly what he meant but gradually I started to get it. At first I was worried about miscarrying, then if baby was still alive in there and then after she started kicking I'd worry if I hadn't felt her in like 1/2 an hour. Did you know babies sleep in the womb too?
Lately, I've started thinking about how much I just like her being in there. I just carry her around and she's safe, sheltered, and fed. I can't wait to finally be able to see her and hold her, but I can't help but be more aware than ever just how unsafe and impure the world is that she's entering. It's a beautiful world created by God, one that I'm excited to show her...but one I'm also afraid of her experiencing due to its imperfections.
I want her to have a perfect world. Wouldn't that be nice? These thoughts have been stirring in me a more intense desire to be closer to God. Sooner or later my baby is going to discover her Momma is as flawed as this world is. I just also want her to discover Christ and the hope of He gives to her and all of us. I want her to see purity in me because of Him.
I definitely can't protect her from everything, but when the worrying starts I can pray to the one who can. Who already knows all the hairs on her head..and who loves her more than me.
I never anticipated how motherhood would ignite a new passion and appreciation for my Saviour. I'll have to thank Baby later.